ASK G-O-D

SHOULD I TAKE A CHANCE AND CONTACT MY OLD FRIEND?

Godiva Olivia Dubois — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 00:53:00 GMT

Dear G.O.D.

Many years ago, 20 years ago in fact, when I was in the first years of my teenage-hood, I had a best friend. I don't know that I was his, yes "his", best pal but we spent a great deal of time together laughing, watching movies, walking home from school together and just having a terrific amount of fun. We were just good friends.

The fun came to a abrupt and painful end when a new girl in the neighborhood developed an interest in my friend and to capture his attention I suppose, made some false accusations about me. I did not possess the backbone to defend myself and paid for it dearly when the next year was torture at the hands of my former friend who had gone from trusted companion to someone I didn't dare speak to for fear of ridicule. I tried very hard to forget those years wasted on my lost friend and the misery I had been in at that time and for many years did not think about him.

Lately, I have found myself reminiscing and pondering the things that have brought me joy in the past. Just a few days ago, I remembered the wonderful times he and I had. That night I "googled" him and found a few websites for his place of employment along with a few pictures.

I really do miss my smart, fun and funny friend. I am truly happy for those successes of his that I was able to read about online. The months I spent with him were some of the happiest times of my life. I understand that things change, so I know that he may not be the person I remember, but I would really like to catch up now that we are older and less fickle. I was unable to tell if he is married or involved, which matters only because I do not want to create domestic issues and I tend to believe that were I happily married and an old female friend of my husband's sent him a letter I may be a slight bit uncomfortable.

So, Godiva, I am looking to you for advice. What do you think? Should I send him a letter or is the best choice to leave everything where it was dropped so excruciatingly decades ago? Would your advice be any different if he was your son?

---Anxiously Awaiting Advice

Dear Anxious:
What have you got to loose by attempting to re-connect with a friend from your past? Sounds like your anziety is drived by two fears. First: you don't want to endure the embarrassment and rejection you suffered in your teens; second:you don't want to cause him any discomfort if he has a jealous wife or girlfriend. I think the lack of backbone you describe in your letter is still your problem here.

Contact your old friend by e-mail (somehow less suggestive than a letter on frilly scented paper delivered to his house). Start by saying you were cruising the net and discovered his name, congratulate him on his success and suggest meeting for coffee to reminisce. If he rejests your offer...get rid of the worm that has been eating away at you for twenty years. Just forget about it and move on.

If he accepts your offer, don't blow it by dwelling on the teenage incident that caused your rift. Dismiss any discussion of that dreadful time with a single sentence like, "Oh, teenagers are so cruel. I'm glad we're past those painful times." And then go straight into talk of your good times together. Even if you don't act on this impulse at all, dump that twenty year old sack of smelly baggage you're carrying around! It's downright unhealthy.

---G.O.D. Godiva Olivia DuBois

LOOKING FOR REVENGE - from SEETHING IN SEDONA

Godiva Olivia Dubois — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 09:10:00 GMT

Another one from A CORPSE IN THE SOUP

Dear G.O.D.,

No matter how good things get, all I can think of is revenge. I’m obsessed with getting even w hen any little thing goes wrong and that messes up every relationship. I need your advice. Don’t tell me to go to a shrink. I am one!

--Seething in Sedona

Dear Seething,

Hey buster, revenge can get you into trouble so don’t do anything stupid. Anger is a poison, you need an antidote and this is it. Get your butt into the office of a fellow shrink and stop behaving like a terrible two year old.

--G.O.D. Godiva Olivia DuBois

GRANDPA'S PARTY DRESS from MISTY IN MISSOULA

Godiva Olivia Dubois — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 08:58:00 GMT

This is the kind of letter we use in the Silver Sisters Books - Excerpt from A Corpse in the Soup

Dear G.O.D.,

This is for the lady whose husband wore frilly lingerie. My husband’s Grandpa Orville was a cross dresser, too. Everyone in town knew it, but they all loved the old guy so much no one said a word.

When Mom and Dad flew in from Ohio for our engagement celebration, they thought it was a costume party when Grandpa Orville greeted them at the door in his taffeta party dress! Poor Grandpa’s gone now, but tell that lady to stand by her man. So what if he uses the ladies dressing room?

--Misty in Missoula

Dear Misty:

You would be surprised how many positive letters I got about the frilly lingerie letter. You said in an earlier letter that Grandpa Orville had a great white mustache. Did he shave it when he wore the taffeta dress or did he wax it for formal occasions?---G.O.D.
Godiva Olivia DuBois

WELCOME TO THE NEW ASK G-O-D ADVICE COLUMN

Godiva Olivia Dubois — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 09:09:00 GMT

With the redesign of the Silver Sisters Mysteries website, we have also redesigned Godiva's advice column blog. While some of the entries will be funny ones from A Corpse in the Soup, as the authors of the Silver Sisters Mysteries, we give out so much advice that we decided to start a real column.

Enter your questions, serious or zany, and writing as Godiva Olivia DuBois it will be answered. Who is Godiva? She is one of the identical twin amateur sleuths in our new series. After writing a column for the "Beverly Hills Blabbermouth" she was discovered and is now in syndication. Godiva is known for her wisecracking, no nonsense approach to the world of advice. After all, she had someone great to learn from...her Jewish mother Flossie.

Hope to be hearing from you.

Godiva Olivia DuBois